{"id":5310,"date":"2017-08-23T09:14:08","date_gmt":"2017-08-23T07:14:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/?p=5310"},"modified":"2017-08-23T09:14:08","modified_gmt":"2017-08-23T07:14:08","slug":"degisim-ve-ask-ayca-kurnaz-uzm-sosyolog-ve-aile-danismani","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/?p=5310","title":{"rendered":"De\u011fi\u015fim ve A\u015fk- Ay\u00e7a Kurnaz (Uzm. Sosyolog ve Aile Dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"4-asik-yasli-cift-600x450-640x360\"<\/a>Uzm. Sosyolog ve Aile Dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131, Ay\u00e7a Kurnaz’\u0131n konuk yazar oldu\u011fu Argasdi’nin de\u011fi\u015fim konulu say\u0131s\u0131ndan, a\u015fk\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fimine de\u011finen s\u00fcr\u00fckleyici bir makale…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBirbirlerini en \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fcleyenler, birbirlerini en \u00e7ok tamamlayanlard\u0131r.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Schopenhauer<\/i><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

A\u015fk, Antik \u00c7a\u011f\u2019dan itibaren bir\u00e7ok kitaba konu oldu. Bir\u00e7ok filozof, bilim insan\u0131 a\u015fk\u0131n ne oldu\u011fu, kimyas\u0131yla ilgili \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar yapt\u0131. Farkl\u0131 teoriler at\u0131ld\u0131 ortaya, \u00e7e\u015fitli ara\u015ft\u0131rmalara konu oldu. Farkl\u0131 k\u00fclt\u00fcrler kendi bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 katarak farkl\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131mlar geli\u015ftirdi. \u00c7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcld\u00fc, \u00e7ok konu\u015fuldu, \u00e7ok \u015fey yaz\u0131ld\u0131. Her ideoloji kendi bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131nda de\u011ferlendirdi a\u015fk\u0131. Her d\u00f6nemde etkisini ve ilgisini kaybetmeyen en yo\u011fun duygulardan biri olarak bug\u00fcnlere ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131 a\u015fk. T\u00fcm ideolojilerde ba\u015fka \u015fekillerde \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za. Kimisinde bir \u015fiirdi, kimisinde payla\u015f\u0131m, kimisinde l\u00fcks aray\u0131\u015f\u0131. \u015eark\u0131larda, \u015fiirlerde, filmlerde mutlaka yer buldu kendine. Bar\u0131\u015fta ve sava\u015fta, hastal\u0131kta ve sa\u011fl\u0131kla, zenginlikte ve yoksullukta…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ge\u00e7mi\u015ften G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcze A\u015fk<\/b><\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7bir zaman, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey mutlak derecede iyi veya k\u00f6t\u00fc olamaz. Her durum kendi i\u00e7inde mutlaka kar\u015f\u0131t\u0131n\u0131 da bar\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131r. Geleneksel toplum yap\u0131s\u0131nda kad\u0131n ve erkek rolleri daha keskin \u00e7izgilerle belirlenmi\u015ftir. Kad\u0131nlar \u00e7o\u011funlukla i\u015f hayat\u0131nda yer alam\u0131yor, \u00e7ocuk, yemek, temizlik i\u015fleriyle sorumlu olarak zamanlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu evlerde ge\u00e7irmek zorunda kal\u0131yordu. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ise, kad\u0131nlar kapitalizm \u00f6ncesi d\u00f6neme g\u00f6re i\u015f hayat\u0131na daha \u00e7ok dahil olsalar da, geleneksel rolleri b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde devam etmekte, hem i\u015fte hem evde \u00e7ifte mesai yapmaktad\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n

Geleneksel toplumda erkek, eve bakmak zorunda olan otorite konumundad\u0131r. Bu d\u00f6nemde mutluluk, evde yenecek bir a\u015f\u0131n olmas\u0131yla tan\u0131mlan\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ise erkeklere y\u00fcklenen rollerde yumu\u015fama olsa da hala daha belli oranda otorite olma rol\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131yor. Toplumsal roller, ge\u00e7mi\u015fte oldu\u011fu gibi bug\u00fcn de a\u015fk ili\u015fkilerinde kendini g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n

Geleneksel toplumda a\u015fk, kimi zaman yer bulamad\u0131 kendine ya da zor \u015fartlarda sava\u015fmak zorunda kald\u0131 ama kendine yer buldu\u011fu noktada daha ko\u015fulsuz ya\u015fand\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ad\u0131mlar atarak ilerlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 insanlar. Beklenti d\u00fc\u015f\u00fckt\u00fc, daha iyisi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclmezdi. Olanla yetinirdi insanlar, olmayan\u0131 istemezdi. Bununla birlikte, mutsuz oldu\u011fu zaman, bunu de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in de bir \u015fey yapamazlard\u0131 o g\u00fcn\u00fcn \u015fartlar\u0131nda. \u00d6zellikle, ekonomik \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc olmayan kad\u0131n, mutsuzlu\u011funu kendi i\u00e7inde ya\u015famak zorunda kal\u0131rd\u0131 \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Hatal\u0131 se\u00e7imlerden geriye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015flere izin verilmezdi. Talep etmek dahi zordu. Ama yine de a\u015f\u0131k olurdu insanlar her zorlu\u011fa ra\u011fmen.<\/p>\n

Zaman ve \u015fartlar de\u011fi\u015ftik\u00e7e, her alanda oldu\u011fu gibi ili\u015fkilerde geli\u015fmeye ve evrilmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Geli\u015fmek ve \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fmek pozitif iken beklentiler abart\u0131l\u0131nca, yetinmeyi unuttu insanlar, t\u00fcketmeye al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ne kadar \u00e7ok verilirse verilsin hep daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 istedi. Toplumlar\u0131n i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu siyasal sistemler etkilerini insan ili\u015fkilerinde g\u00f6sterir. Hangi d\u00f6nemin hangi siyasal sisteminde oldu\u011fumuz ya\u015fama \u015feklimizi ve sosyal ili\u015fkilerimizi do\u011frudan etkiliyor. Tabii a\u015fk\u0131 da.<\/p>\n

Zaman de\u011fi\u015fti, \u015fartlar de\u011fi\u015fti, biz de\u011fi\u015ftik. \u0130mkanlar artt\u0131, se\u00e7enekler \u00e7o\u011fald\u0131, tatminsizlikler artt\u0131. De\u011fi\u015fimi bir\u00e7ok \u015fey getirdi; teknoloji geli\u015fti, hayat\u0131m\u0131z kolayla\u015ft\u0131. M\u00fccadeleyi ve sava\u015fmay\u0131 unuttuk! K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ad\u0131mlar atmadan b\u00fcy\u00fck sonu\u00e7lara ula\u015fma hayali girdi hayat\u0131m\u0131za. Modern d\u00f6nemde t\u00fcketmeyi, hep daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 istemeyi \u00f6\u011frendik, a\u015fk da bundan nasibini ald\u0131 tabii. Yerine koymadan, emek harcamadan t\u00fcketiyoruz. Kapitalist d\u00fczende a\u015fk\u0131n ya\u015fanma \u015fekli maddiyatla da ba\u011fda\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lmaya ba\u015fland\u0131. En g\u00fczel d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc yapabilmek en \u00e7ok paray\u0131 harcamaktan ge\u00e7iyor. En b\u00fcy\u00fck evde oturabilme, en l\u00fcks arabay\u0131 kullanabilme bir insana a\u015f\u0131k olmay\u0131 belirleyici olabilen etkenler g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda.<\/p>\n

Ger\u00e7ek a\u015fk kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini sahip olduklar\u0131ndan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebildi\u011fimiz noktada ya\u015fan\u0131r. Bir insan\u0131, sahip olduklar\u0131yla de\u011fil, kalbiyle de\u011ferlendirebiliyor ve istiyorsak, ger\u00e7ek a\u015fka yakla\u015ft\u0131k demektir. Her \u015feyin \u2018an\u2019l\u0131k var olabildi\u011fi bir d\u00fcnya yaratt\u0131k kendimize. \u015eu an yeni olan bir \u015feyin bile, bu c\u00fcmle bitene kadar g\u00fcncelli\u011fini kaybetti\u011fi bir d\u00fcnyada ya\u015f\u0131yoruz. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fte \u2018birlikte ba\u015farabiliriz\u2019 bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n yerini \u015fimdilerde \u2018rahat edebilece\u011fim \u015fartlar olmal\u0131\u2019 bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Ko\u015fullar D\u00fcnyas\u0131nda Metala\u015fm\u0131\u015f A\u015fk<\/b><\/p>\n

Ko\u015fulsuz sevgi kavram\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda maalesef \u00e7ok fazla g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz bir durum de\u011fil. Hatta g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde, belli ko\u015fullar sa\u011fland\u0131\u011f\u0131 noktada a\u015fk ya\u015fanabiliyor. A\u015fklar, mant\u0131k s\u00fczgecinden ge\u00e7iriliyor, maddi engellere tak\u0131labiliyor. Evlilik programlar\u0131ndaki insanlar, hem kendilerine hem de bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na uygun e\u015fi ar\u0131yor. Buradaki kriter, duygu ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kurulabilmesi de\u011fil, m\u00fclkiyet ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n olabilmesi… A\u015fk tan\u0131mlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z en yo\u011fun ba\u011f olurken, bunun ev ve arabaya ba\u011flanmas\u0131 da ayr\u0131 bir ironi. Sevgi ba\u011f\u0131 yerine ihtiya\u00e7 ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n konmas\u0131 halinde, ihtiya\u00e7 bitince ne oluyor? O ki\u015fiye olan ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da kopuyor. Oysa hayat\u0131 payla\u015fmak i\u00e7in birlikte olmal\u0131 insanlar, ihtiya\u00e7 duydu\u011fu i\u00e7in de\u011fil. Ba\u011flayan, sevgi ba\u011f\u0131 olmal\u0131 bir imza veya yaln\u0131zl\u0131k korkusu de\u011fil. \u0130li\u015fkiden vazge\u00e7en mutsuz insan olmal\u0131, s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insan de\u011fil!<\/p>\n

Modern zaman\u0131n bireyselle\u015fmi\u015f insan\u0131 ya\u015fam ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan gittik\u00e7e uzakla\u015fmakta, bireysel \u00e7\u0131karlar do\u011frultusunda kararlar almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r. Zorluklar\u0131n da ya\u015fanmaya ba\u015flamas\u0131yla ili\u015fkiler \u00e7at\u0131rdamaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor. \u00c7at\u0131rdayan ili\u015fkiler ise emek verip d\u00fczeltmek yerine yenisiyle de\u011fi\u015ftiriliyor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

De\u011fi\u015fen D\u00fcnyada Herkes Bizi G\u00f6zetliyor!<\/b><\/p>\n

Zaman\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fimi, teknolojinin geli\u015fimi, bilgi \u00e7a\u011f\u0131 fikirsel anlamda \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc getirirken, ba\u015fka anlamda bizi g\u00f6zetlenen ve kontrol edilen bireyler haline getirdi. Evet, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekte daha \u00f6zg\u00fcr\u00fcz ama bize verilen s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7eve i\u00e7erisinde! Neredeyiz? Kiminleyiz? Ne yap\u0131yoruz? Bizim iznimizle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z her \u015fey herkes taraf\u0131ndan biliniyor. Yapt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z facebook\u2019ta payla\u015f\u0131l\u0131nca anlam kazanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. En g\u00fczel d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn, en iyi foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131, en l\u00fcks mekan bizim oldu da, peki ya mutlu olduk mu? Mutluluktan \u00f6te g\u00f6zetleniyoruz! Herkes bizi g\u00f6zetliyor!<\/p>\n

Hep derler eski a\u015fklar ba\u015fkayd\u0131 diye asl\u0131nda ba\u015fka olan bizlerdik, bizlerin duygular\u0131, bizlerin bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131. Bu bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftik\u00e7e de\u011fi\u015fiyor her \u015fey. T\u0131pk\u0131 t\u00fcketmeye al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi tekrar sevmeye de al\u0131\u015fabilir insan. Yeter ki fark\u0131nda olsun ve istesin. Yeter ki kendi i\u00e7in anlaml\u0131 bir \u015fey bulsun. Bilinmesi gereken zaman, \u015fartlar ve insanlar de\u011fi\u015ftik\u00e7e ya\u015fam \u015fekli ve a\u015fk\u0131 ya\u015fama \u015fekli de de\u011fi\u015fir. Hayat\u0131m\u0131zda fark yaratmak istiyorsak ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n fark\u0131nda olmal\u0131y\u0131z ve istedi\u011fimiz fark\u0131 yaratmak i\u00e7in \u00e7abalamal\u0131y\u0131z. \u00c7abalama \u015feklimiz farkl\u0131 olsa da m\u00fccadelesiz kazan\u0131lan hi\u00e7bir de\u011fer yoktur, hangi d\u00f6nemde olursak olal\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u201cDe\u011fi\u015fmeyen tek \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fimin kendisi\u201d y\u0131llar \u00f6nce s\u00f6ylemi\u015f bunu Herakleitos, \u00e7ok da do\u011fru s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. De\u011fi\u015fimi durduramay\u0131z ama duygular\u0131 ve benli\u011fimizi kaybetmeden a\u015fk\u0131 ya\u015famay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek bize kalm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Uzm. Sosyolog ve Aile Dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131, Ay\u00e7a Kurnaz’\u0131n konuk yazar oldu\u011fu Argasdi’nin de\u011fi\u015fim konulu say\u0131s\u0131ndan, a\u015fk\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fimine de\u011finen s\u00fcr\u00fckleyici bir makale…   \u201cBirbirlerini en \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fcleyenler,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":5311,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[40,67,44,9,1,39],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/4-asik-yasli-cift-600x450-640x360.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eHWX-1nE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5310"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5310"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5312,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5310\/revisions\/5312"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5311"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/baraka.cc\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}